I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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