As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
