the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
