and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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