can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We had to coat check the pizza.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
