you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
