Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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