Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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