Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
