So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
