goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
