So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
