Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
