Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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