I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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