I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
