I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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