I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When are your genitals available?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize