Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
