i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
