Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yo dont text me then not text me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize