watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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