First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
