when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
no you cant smoke seaweed
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
