and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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