You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
