i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
