thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
