He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
