she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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