I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would punch a child for taco bell
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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