its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
