I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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