HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
