just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
