no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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