vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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