Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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