I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They have beer where we have blood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
