once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
