He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
