i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
