her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
