You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
