i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
