I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
