I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
