So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
