Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
