i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
