Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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