How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize