Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
