New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
