all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
