You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
they're like a gay fantastic four
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
