All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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