I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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