Midget sex pt 2 tonight
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
