brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
