Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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