There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
