Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
