i just wanna soil my oats bro
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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