What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
